


When Dudley Brings Daisy to Dinner

by ladyroxanne21



Series: Growing Up Potter [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And chaos, And family gossip, I don't even know how to tag this, M/M, humor I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another chaotic family dinner, but this time, Dudley brings his daughter Daisy and her mother Donna to meet Harry Potter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Dudley Brings Daisy to Dinner

VIII

 

The next weekend, Dudley and Donna brought their baby Daisy to visit Harry for the first time. Dudley was visibly nervous as they exited the cab. Hermione stood waiting for them with a stern expression. She paid the driver and sent him away as quickly as possible.

“Now,” she stated bruskly. “My name is Hermione and I'm Harry's secret keeper. Can you swear to me that you intend Harry no harm?”

“I swear,” Dudley and Donna promised in unison.

Hermione scanned them with a spell that detected harmful intent and – finding none – nodded her head in acceptance. She conjured a piece of paper for each of them, then handed the papers to them. “Read it and memorize.”

“Wow,” Donna exhaled in awe. “Not too many witches and wizards I know actually use a Fidelius Charm since most of the time, regular wards are enough.”

Hermione sighed with a tone of long suffering acceptance. “Yes, well, this is just part of what it means to be Harry Potter.”

After reading the paper, Dudley was taken aback to see the large house appear as if it was sort of squeezing itself into existence between the other – smaller – houses. Hermione led the way inside. Just a foot into the entryway, Walburga had to make her existence known.

“ _MORE_ VERMIN?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!”

“Shut it right now, Mrs. Black, or I'll send Draco out here to give you what for!” Hermione threatened.

“But I _love_ talking to darling Draco!” Walburga drawled happily. “How is that any incentive to make me behave?”

Draco popped into the entryway from upstairs. “I heard you shouting again Auntie. How many times must we have this talk? I will find a way to set off an acid curse inside your portrait that slowly eats away at you until there is not a drop of paint left if you ruin Harry's day. Then I will erect the strongest barrier possible and cast a Fiendfyre curse at what is left of your frame so that it can burn for all of eternity!”

Walburga grinned as hugely as she possibly could, her hands held over her heart. “Ah! You're such a flirt! You make me proud that the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black survives through you!”

Before Draco could say anything, a Sonorus charm boomed Harry's voice throughout the entire house. “I've got dinner ready and so anyone who's hungry better get their arse in the dinning room in less than five minutes!”

Hermione gestured for their guests to wait a moment as she leaned down the stairs to the kitchen. “HARRY! DON'T SAY ARSE WHERE THE KIDS CAN HEAR YOU!”

“Sorry!” Harry called out over the Sonorus before ending it. By the tone of his voice, he was clearly not sorry.

Draco popped back upstairs to wrangle his three as Hermione led their guests to the dining room. Just as they reached the door to the dining room, Pansy came racing down the stairs and next to her, a vase blew up from a blasting hex.

“Buggering _hell_ Pansy!” Padma roared in outrage. “You think you can just say things like that to me and I won't hex you?!”

Pansy took refuge behind Hermione – who had already cast a Repairo on the vase – and then aimed a stinging hex at Padma. “Why shouldn't I say what I want? It's not like it isn't the truth!”

Padma gasped and examined her shoulder. “Merlin's scaly eczema! That hurt!” She cast a stinging hex in return.

Hermione already had a wall shield up. The hex bounced off and made a chunk of wall go flying. “What the – Padma! We have  _ guests!  _ Or don't you remember what today is?!”

“Pansy started it! And don't you dare take her side just because she's a slag that's in your bed more often than she's in her own!” Padma protested hotly.

“You're just jealous that Hermione won't let you in bed with her!” Pansy roared, shaking a fist over Hermione's shoulder.

“Now is not the time!” Hermione shouted.

Padma squeaked in dismay when she felt a levitation charm envelope her and gently move her to the side. “Sorry Padma, but you were in the way,” Ron stated unapologetically as he put his wand away and led Rose and Hugo down the stairs.

“Ooo,” Luna said breathily. “That looks like fun. Are we casting levitation charms on each other tonight so that we can swim around through the air?” She held Pandora in one arm and Lily in the other.

“Maybe after dinner,” Harry stated as he and Hannah levitated a dozen trays laden with food between them. “And why are we all just standing in the hall? Again.”

Draco called down from the third floor. “It looks like there's a traffic jam on the stairs again, and our boys are so hungry that I caught them eating the paper they were drawing on. If these stairs don't clear up immediately, I'm going to hex all of you so that your hair is exactly like Hermione's!”

All the women except for Hermione gasped in a way that let him know this was the worst thing he could possibly do. Pansy jumped through the door to the dining room. Parvati simply Apparated with both her and Padma's children in tow.

“Hey!” Hannah called out. “No fair, I'm carrying trays of food!”

“That's a low blow, Draco!” Padma cried out. “I'm still caught up in a levitation charm and can't move very fast!” She proved this by swimming through the air at a turtle's pace.

“Hey now! What exactly is wrong with my hair?!” Hermione demanded with a glare all around.

Ron gave her a kiss on the cheek as he passed her. “Nothing, love. I've always thought your hair was perfect.”

“Liar!” Susan cried out from inside the dining room. She had already been in there to begin with, along with her daughter Amelia.

“It's not a lie for me to say so just because you don't agree,” Ron informed her.

Draco was able to escort his boys down the stairs and into the dining room by this point, which just left Andromeda. She emerged from her bedroom with Remus and Pearl in her arms while Teddy followed along. She waited politely for Harry and Hannah to carry the food into the dining room.

Teddy bounced excitedly. “I know you! You're that man that visited Harry in the park  _ forever _ ago!” His hair shifted from blue to green. “And you brought a baby!” He promptly turned to shout into the dining room. “Hey Harry! Are we having another baby?! This man brought us a baby!”

Harry nearly dropped a tray. “Teddy! What?”

Teddy ran into the room, and then ran circles around Harry. “It's the man from the park! Remember? Remember him?”

“Yes Teddy,” Harry stated, speaking with a soothing voice in an attempt to calm Teddy down. “I told you that he's my cousin, remember? I invited him to dinner tonight.”

“And he brought you a baby as a host gift!” Teddy announced.

“What?!” Harry blurted out, wondering why Teddy would think that.

Andromeda laughed and scooped her grandson up. His hair was now the exact shade as Harry's – and even looked just as wild. Teddy had a smudge on his forehead that was slowly starting to resemble Harry's scar. Andromeda was sure that by this time next year, he would have figured out how to copy it exactly.

“That's not how it works love,” Andromeda informed him.

“Are we all here?” Harry asked, trying to count the kids, who were still running amok. This made it impossible to make an accurate count. Harry chuckled. “I feel like Hermione should cast an immobilization charm!”

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. “More importantly, do we have enough room? Did anyone ever extend the table and benches?” She quickly counted the plates.

“I think the table's fine, love,” Ron pointed out. Then he gestured around the room. “It's _the room_ that I think has gotten a bit small.”

“Oh Merlin's flabby love handles!” Hermione cursed and thunked herself on the head. “I completely forgot! Am _I_ the _only_ one who knows the Undetectable Extension Charm?”

“I know it,” Draco answered with a shrug.

“Good!” Hermione stated. “Everyone stand on that side of the room. Everyone – _kids!_ Stand back –” She growled in frustration and then cast an immobilization charm on them followed by a levitation charm so that she could move them out of the way.

“Oh sure!” Harry cried out in protest. “When _I_ suggest immobilizing them, you roll your eyes at me, but when they get it _your_ way, it's fine!”

Hermione simply rolled her eyes at Harry again. She and Draco stood next to each other and quickly came to an agreement on how they wanted the charm to work. Next, they closed their eyes and focused on their intent. Finally, they cast the Undetectable Extension Charm.

The entire room lengthened by five feet. Hermione looked at Ron. “What do you think? Big enough?”

“Should do,” Ron stated with a nod.

“Quick!” Parvati called out. “Everyone grab a child and sit down before she ends the spell!”

Hermione smirked but waited for everyone to grab a child – it didn't even matter whose child it was. Since Harry had already set all the platters onto the table, he grabbed the two nearest kids – Remus and Pearl. Then he exhaled a long breath and turned to smile at Dudley.

“I'm so sorry I didn't say hi right away, but as you can see, it's always pure chaos around here,” he explained. “Go ahead and sit across the table from me.

Dudley – never really a person who spoke a lot – simply nodded and tugged on his fianc é e (who was holding their baby) until they were sitting across the long table from Harry. This placed them directly in the middle. 

“Wow... it's really you...” Donna exhaled reverently.

“Now would be good,” Harry murmured, since he wasn't sure how to respond to that. 

“Finite Incantatem!” Hermione cried out, releasing her spell holding the kids immobile. The room instantly filled with the sounds of impatient children demanding food.

Harry looked around the table. “Who's got my twins?”

“I do,” Pansy replied from near the end of the table. “But I have no idea why I'm holding yours and you're holding mine.”

“No problem, I was just thinking that if they become too much to handle, I can always switch with you,” Harry stated.

“Oh, no worries!” Pansy assured him. “James and Albus _always_ behave for Auntie Pans.” She said this in a way that just dripped with venom smothered in honey. “Don't you, boys?”

They both gulped and silently nodded as if their heads were vibrating. Harry laughed. “Dare I ask?”

Pansy shrugged shamelessly. “Probably not. Rest assured that I didn't hurt them in any way.”

Harry returned his attention to Dudley and Donna, and then focused on Daisy. The little girl was wide eyed with wonder as she looked around at all the kids. She was only a little more than a year old, so they were all about twice her age – except for Teddy, who was a bit more than three times her age.

“She's adorable,” Harry murmured with a genuine smile. He hadn't thought it possible for Dudley to have good looking children, but clearly it was. A good look at Donna didn't give her all the credit either. She was pretty, but Daisy clearly looked more like Dudley than Donna.

Daisy was now staring at Teddy, who was sitting between Donna and Andromeda. Teddy was staring at Daisy in return. His hair turned the same shade of blonde as Daisy's – who had her mother's hair. Daisy leaned over to get a better look at Teddy, and then quick as lightning, grabbed a handful of his hair.

“Ow! Gran, she's pulling my hair!” Teddy wailed.

“Oh, Daisy!” Donna squeaked in dismay. She hastily forced Daisy to let go, and then shifted her to the other side. Daisy pointed and grunted insistently. She clearly wanted some of that magic hair – which had gone white in alarm.

Harry chuckled. “She fits right in!”

This broke the ice and made Dudley and Donna feel better, but they still stayed quiet. Neither of them were talkers – Well, maybe Donna was more than Dudley. In any case they were content to listen in to all the bickering and gossip.

Such as:

“Oh! Did I tell you yet? No, I don't think I did. Neville asked me to marry him!” Hannah announced.

“What?!” Ron roared in astonishment. “I thought he was dating Luna!”

“Oh keep up, Ron!” Pansy snarled. “Luna stopped dating him over a year ago when he couldn't keep his eyes off Hannah.”

“Which is for the best, really, as I eventually remembered that the man who will father my twin boys hasn't met me yet,” Luna stated dreamily. “I think he's due to arrive any time now. I gave Neville and Hannah my blessings long ago. Congratulations on the engagement,” Luna added, speaking directly to Hannah now.”

“Er wait,” Harry interjected. “How is that going to work?”

Hannah grinned at him. “Not much will change. He's agreed to live here with me. I'll still work in the Leaky during the day, and actually, we're planning to buy it outright, so he'll be working there with me,” she explained.

“Wow Hannah!” Everyone congratulated her.

The next bit of gossip was even more surprising.

“I'm tired of waiting for an answer, Harry,” Padma cried out fiercely. “Yes or no to more babies?!”

Harry looked to Draco. “Er, well, I'm not completely adverse, but Draco brought up a good point. If I say yes to you two, then  _ everyone _ will want more.”

“Not me!” Hannah assured him. “I'm not planning any more until Neville wants them.

“Not me because I'm eventually marrying Ron,” Hermione reminded him. “And we're not entirely sure we want more kids.”

“And not Ginny,” Ron added with a shrug. “She practically had a shouting match with mum the other day since mum wants her to have more, but Gin wants to continue her Quidditch career.”

“Any idea when she's coming home?” Harry wondered.

Ron shrugged again. “That depends on if she wins the game tonight or not.”

“ _Ginny Weasley_?!” Donna squealed incredulously. “She's my favorite!”

“I'll tell her you said that,” Harry promised with a kind smile.

“I do want you to father another baby,” Susan stated, continuing the previous subject. “But not until next year.”

“And I am waiting for the father of my twins to find me,” Luna reminded him.

Which just left Pansy. “Actually, I want Draco to father my next child. And if I want more kids after that, I want them to be Ron's.”

Hermione frowned at her. “I just said that Ron and I aren't sure we want any more kids.”

Pansy rolled her eyes. “I didn't say that I definitely wanted them or that I even wanted them any time soon, just that,  _ well, _ I actually think that Ron and I would create an adorable baby.”

Hermione nodded as she hummed in thought. “That much is true.” Ron looked highly amused by the conversation.

“And I'm serious about having one with Draco first – right about now, actually,” Pansy added. “I'm ready for another and I've wanted a baby with him since we were in fifth year.”

Draco almost spit out his drink at this information. “You have?!”

Pansy gave him a look like it should have been obvious. “Draco, we were dating for a while and I really thought that I'd be the one to provide you with your precious Malfoy Heir. I used to spend hours drawing pictures of how a baby between us would look. If I have even the slightest chance of making that a reality, I'm taking it!”

“Pans...” Draco murmured, still in a state of mild shock. He looked to Harry.

Harry chuckled and gave Draco a mischievous smirk. “So... Yes to the twins for me, and yes to Pansy for you?”

Draco snorted and rolled his eyes. “And apparently Susan next year for you.”

Harry laughed. “Hey! At least it's not all of them!”

Draco chuckled as he nodded in agreement.

“It could be even better,” Luna informed them, her voice as soft and angelic as ever. “We could all make a trip back to Hogwarts and conceive another twelve. I rather think another orgy would be lovely. I've been dreaming about the Patil twins for a while now.”

It was their turn to choke incredulously. “Luna!”

“I seem to have a thing for twins,” Luna added with a shrug.

Hannah was staring at Luna as if she was trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. “Anyone else think that a baby between Draco and Luna would almost be guaranteed to look like an Angel?”

Harry tilted his head as he looked from Luna to Draco and back. “Now that you mention it... That would be a baby worth seeing!”

“I do often fantasize about having sex with Draco again,” Luna stated almost dead pan. It was very hard to tell if she was serious or joking.

“I thought you were waiting for that father of your twins!” Draco reminded her with a tone of near panic.

“Oh I am,” Luna confirmed with another dreamy smile. “I didn't say I wanted a baby with you, just that I want to have sex again.”

“Oh!” Draco exhaled in relief. He looked to Harry and muttered: “I really don't need more twins.”

Harry laughed. “I guess the only question left is when do we do this?”

Draco shrugged. “Let me brew up a batch of fertility potions so that they get pregnant the first time. That should only take me about a week.”

Padma leaned forward and glared at everyone in turn. “And not one of you had better  _ dare _ tell my parents that we're planning to get pregnant again until after we do! You all know how our mother is like a dog with a bone about the marriage thing!”

Parvati groaned and held a hand to her stomach as if she was going to be sick. “She's even gone so far as to compile a file of 'highly eligible' men for us to pick between! If we really wanted to, we could probably both be married by next week!”

“She's going to want to murder me, isn't she?” Harry stated more than asked, then sighed and put his head in his hands.

Ron burst out laughing so loudly that he startled Rose – whom he was holding. “That would be hilarious! You survive the Dark Lord and all his Death Eaters trying to kill you, only to die at the hands of an outraged mother!”

This provoked laughter all around.

“You think she'd try an Avada Kedavra?” Hermione asked between giggles.

“No! I bet she use her bare hands!” Padma conjectured before laughing so hard that she pounded on the table.

“Hey now!” Harry protested with a huge grin. “Why aren't I defending myself?”

Ron snickered louder than ever. “Because you're a Hero and you can't risk hurting an innocent woman!”

“How is she innocent if she's trying to kill me with her bare hands?” Harry asked incredulously.

Draco placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. His eyes were gleaming merrily. “You know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her. After all, she's going to be in the right. You will have committed the crime of getting her twin daughters up the duff. Again.”

“I can just read the headline now,” Susan announced between laughs. “The Boy Who Lived To Defeat the Dark Lord and Save the Wizarding World from EVIL, Who then Impregnated Half of Hogwarts Eighth Year Class Dies Tragically in a One Sided Battle with Mrs. Patil!”

“Ooo ooo!” Hannah jumped up in excitement. “The Wizengamot can't decide whether to imprison Mrs. Patil for murdering out beloved Savior or commend her for doing what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named couldn't do despite trying for 16 years and casting the unforgivable Killing Curse _twice_!” She held up two fingers in a vee.

Pansy spread her hands out in front of her dramatically. “Mrs. Patil now officially the strongest witch in all of creation! Stronger than even the Dark Lord! All Hail Mrs. Patil!”

Harry was laughing so hard at this point that he was starting to cough. Draco pounded him on the back. Then he smirked at Padma and Parvati.

“Fair warning to you both; I refuse to let Harry be killed before we get married, and so if it came down to it, I'd cast a body binding curse and then use a permanent sticking charm to put her right next to my dear Aunt Walburga.”

This had Ron in tears from laughing so hard. “They'd probably love each other!”

Parvati squealed and stomped her feet. “At least she couldn't complain that she never sees us anymore!”

Dudley was torn. On the one hand, he was laughing just as hard as everyone else. On the other, the things that were being described were so horrible that his blood ran cold when he stopped to think about it.

Donna reached across the table and took hold of Harry's hand. “This reminds me of home!” She cried out with a teary grin. “Now I miss my family powerfully, but at least I feel that my daughter will grow up fitting in. Thank you for giving us a chance.”

Harry sobered up almost instantly. He was deeply touched that this woman who had been a stranger before today – who had worshiped him as a Hero like everyone else – had gotten past all that and accepted him as a real person. He squeezed her hand, giving her a genuine smile.

“I'm glad I did.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally all I have written for now, but I have plans for more. Next up might just be a chapter of nothing but smut because I am frankly amazed that I haven't been able to squeeze any in here so far, lol!  
> Any ideas for things you'd like to see are greatly appreciated :-D


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